To Heal a Glass Heart
by VisMorgana
Summary: When a fight causes Raven to leave the Tower in anger, a redeyed girl within her is smiling. And when Raven falls head over heels for a thief named RedX, she sees a side of her she never knew existed, a side that just may kill her. DONE! YES! GO ME!
1. Last Straw

**_My third story! Yay! Well, here it goes. This chapter is super short and isn't the best...ah well. Please reviwe, and read my other fics if you get the chance!

* * *

"Please, could you all just shut up?"_**

"Why don't you go back to your room and sulk, Raven?"

Raven lowered her book and took a deep breath, staring at the two Titans on the ground in front of her. Beast boy- the spikey green haired boy had one end of the controller and Cyborg, the giant mechanical man, had the other. Beast Boy was putting up quite a fight, mauling Cyborg at the same time. She took another deep breath. She wouldn't get mad at such a stupid thing

She uncrossed her legs and landed on the round, her cloak settling around her to hide her front. With one pale hand, she lowered the hood over er face.

Robin watched her, his eyes hidden from behind the mask, but worried none the less. "Beast Boy, Cyborg, you guys are being too loud."

Starfire looked up from cooking one of her famous meals- the familiar disgusting odor making the other Titans cringe. The alien girl said nothing, only fixed the chef hat on her head that Robin had given to her.

"No, you know what Robin? Every time someone makes any noise, Raven gets all freaked out."

Beast Boy stopped fighting over the controller and released it suddenly, Cyborg flying back by the sudden release. "We're all sick of it Raven!"

Raven took one look at the suddenly silent room and gave a curt nod. "Whatever, Beast Boy. Don't you think we're all sick of you too?" She clutched her book tightly, her eyes narrowing. The bowl of popcorn sitting on the table suddenly flew into the air and landed upside down on Beast boy's head, the kernels flying everywhere.

"I'm just as sick of this as all of you. If I'm so creepy, why do you let me stay on the team? Perhaps because you fear me? Fear what I could do? Are you afraid that I'll be like Terra?"

She turned and whirled around, marching into her room, eyes flaring up into a shade of red, though she quieted herself. When in her room she sealed the door shut and took a seat on her bed, crossing her legs and trying to relax. But through her mind whirled anger and hatred, frustration, irritation, and other emotions. At long last she hurled her book to the ground and laid on her bed, staring around her room.

Raven had been treated so carefully, like a fragile piece of glass, as if in any moment she would break and the shards would kill them.

No more.

She would show them.

Standing up, she rummaged through her closet and searched for a bag. Once finding one she hurled into it many things, her mirror, a few trinkets lying around, a wallet full of money she had saved, and a few different outfits.

This was it.

Straightening up, she slung the bag over one shoulder and raised her hands in the air. For a moment she regretted leaving, leaving this place she had called home. But no, if she was to be treated so, what was the point of staying here?

Inside her, deep inside, she knew she was being childish. But now, it didn't matter. She wanted out, she wanted to get away from this place. A huge black shadow engulfed her and sprouted wings, lifting off and soaring through the roof.

As she gazed down upon the city, a warm thought entered her mind. She was free.

Before, she had been in a cage. Everything Raven did had to be to the standards of the team- she had to fight well, help others, do other things like that. But now...now she was free. Now she could do whatever she wanted.

Deep inside her, in the depths of her mind, there seemed to be chaos. Emotions were fearful for her, realizing the danger she was getting in- all but one. One, a girl with four red eyes and a red cape, one girl was smiling.


	2. Lustful Eyes

_**OOC: First off, don't kill me. I was at a serious writer's block for awhile.. -- I swear, I didn't forget about you. I wrote this chapter just today, right after I read a review by**_ _Trinity. **Thus, as her review is what kicked me off my ass and out of my slump, this chapter is dedicated to you. Thank you.**_

**_hands Trinity flowers and a cookie_**

****

**_And now, onto what you really care about, a chapter with just a bit of a cliffhanger at the end.. evil laughter _****_XD_**

_

* * *

Enough! We need to control our emotions._

_Or what? Our bad vibes will keep you from meditating_

_What is your deal! _

_At least I am able to fly. On my planet, even a newborn can unleash the joy of flight. But you are too busy being grumpy and rude to feel anything at all!_

_Way to go, Raven. __Okay, look. I don't know what your problem is, but get over it._

_Oh Raven, come on! Why can't you just have fun like normal people? Why are you always locked in your dark room, reading your nasty old books? Why do you have to be so creepy?_

Over and over again, their voices played. She saw images creeping across her mind. Thousands of times they had treated her like this, than instantly regretted it. What was she to them? Was she a true Titan, a friend? Or was she someone they kept near for one less villain? They feared her.

She could see it in their eyes sometimes. The way she moved, the way she spoke, her powers...How many times had their eyes widened in fright and had they watched her, horrified to say a word... Was she but Terra to them? Did they hold her close to keep from betrayal?

She held their team together. She kept them from falling apart, always there to reassure by her calming chants. But they took her for granted. She gave advice, she healed, she understood. She was the one they knew was there always, and even if she was mean or srcastic, Raven was a reassurance to them. A reassurance that their friendship was strong.

How strong was it truly? They drove her away... They-them. Not we or us. Them. The Titans.

Raven reached down and tore off her communicator, throwing it into the air and blasting a black beam towards it, which entered the tiny device and demolished it from the inside out. She erased all trace of being a Titan. Not now. No more.

She was free.

Violet eyes began to glow as her spirit form whipped through the city. Where should she go? Across the world, maybe... But first...

Raven went to the least likeliest place she would ever go, the Mall. Settling upon the ground, she stared at the many people walking by, the voices ringing in her ears, and slowly picked her way towards one of the Department stores.

People knew her by her costume. They recognized her and poked each other, muttering her name and stepping aside. They knew her, but for the right reasons? Did they know her for saving lives, or for losing control and scaring citizens?

When she slipped from the store she was nothing more than a regular teenager. A pair of black jeans hid her legs, something she found oddly refreshing after so long of simply bare legs. She wore a simple blue T-shirt with a black jacket over it, hooded of course. She still wore a gem upon her Ajna Chakra, and kept her cuffs, but her leotard and cloak were in her bag. She felt naked but alive, sprung afresh and new. It was amazing.

Slowly, she worked through the crowd on foot, not levitating as usual. It was different this time. People bumped her and crowded her, stepped on her feet(now wearing a pair of black shoes), treated her no better than any other teenager off the street.

As she worked back through the mall and towards the city, she was relaxed. No more worrying about the Titans. She didn't have to care. Her stride, as she was walking now, brough her towards the dock.

"Hey girl, what's in your purse?"

Raven looked up from her daydreaming to see a huge man standing before her, uncut and unshaved, a long shabby overcoat hiding his ripped T-shirt and jeans. His eyes gleamed- focused not upon her purse nor her face, but upon her breasts.

It seemed to be a curse to be a woman. At times that was all Raven could think. How many times Villains had commented on Raven and Starfire's bodies, even going as far as to look through with a X-ray vision eye, as See-more once did. Sometimes it was oddly satisfying, that they had something attractive. But other times it felt horrible. This one of those times.

"Hehe, why don't you come with me." Raven's eyes flashed angrily. He began to move closer, one hand shuffling down to a pocket in his jacket where Raven could see a large lump. Raven's mind frantically spun around, until she brought it into control. She couldn't make this into a big deal. The Titans couldn't hear about where she was.

Raven dropped her bag and outstretched her hands which were now glowing black just as the man pulled out his gun and aimed at her head. Raven took a deep breath, shaking slightly. She could move the gun, but it only took a split-second for him to shoot and there wasn't anyone to help her if she got shot.

"Ah, I know you, you're Raven, that girl from the Teen Titans. Well, I don't see any of your friends around here. Looks like you're all alone." Raven shook still, nerves getting her as she lost her cool for a moment. This was different. She had fought people with guns before, but she had relied upon the Titans to back her up. Now she was alone.

The man moved closer, a hungry look in his gaze, focused upon her still. Anger swept through her and she cried out. "No!" The black beams shot from her hand and hit him full in the chest, blasting him back into a pile of crates. Another beam shot towards the gun but the man fired in shock. The bullet whizzed through the air and sliced her arm making Raven cry out in pain and surprise and fall to the ground. Blood spurted from the wound, Raven's hand reaching out to grab it and was within moments blood-soaked. The pain astonished her. Shock swept through her body, destroying the idea of healing herself.

"I guess you're human just like the rest of us. We always thought you were a demon. It was so hard to tell whose side you were on- always stopping robberies and yet so dark and mysterious. What are you hiding?" The man chuckled, brushing the dirt off himself and reloading the gun.

"I guess I'll find out." Raven's eyes widened, the pain numbing as realization struck her to what the man was going to do with her.

"No," she said weakly. "No.."

The man crept closer and closer, one hand outstretched hungrily.

"She said no." Out of nowhere it seemed, a red X flashed and hit the man front on, knocking him back and tightening around him to bring his arms to his side. Raven recognized the attack. She had seen the same thing happen to Starfire. The gun fell to the ground besides the man, fear-struck he stared at a figure who appeared before him. The figure reached down and picked up the gun, examining it in his hands before aiming it at the man. The man flinched, visibly scared. After a pearl of laughter, the figure stuck the gun into his belt.

Raven stared at him, recognizing the figure but still numb from the pain. The pain began to overwhelm her, until the last thing she saw was a mask, of a skull with black eyes and a white mask watching her. Hands picked her up and she felt limp in those arms, unable to stay conscious, she slid into a shadow of sleep and painless dreaming.


	3. What defines being lonely

**_OOC: Well, I'm sure I've surprised you with how quickly I updated! Yeah right... Blah. This chapter's been on my computer for two days now, but my internet was down and it just came on. Theres even a pathetic attempt at a poem at the bottom to make up for it.. Here ya are!_**

* * *

Her mind seemed to float upon a different plane, tired yet restless, drifting through a different existence where there was no cage of the body, no one there to look upon her or speak to her. Where small lights hovered in the dark blue world around her, making Raven feel as if she had flown into the heavens, the lights flickering and shifting in different designs, spelling words and names, creating images for Raven's pleasure. No laughter or smile was within her yet she could feel a warm glow of happiness within her, freedom, true freedom. 

Suddenly with a painful jolt the happiness was ripped from her as she was hurled back into her cage once more, eyes opening wide and sitting up straight.

Raven was floating in the air, hovering lying straight like a board upon her back, well, now sitting up. Her bag and her black jacket laid upon the ground beside her, next to a fast-food bag, from which smells snuck to Raven and were oddly...appetizing. Hunger could do things.

Raven glanced down at herself, taking in her appearance by the dim lighting. Her bag sat upon the ground neatly, seemingly untouched which reassured Raven only slightly. Glancing down at herself, she saw that she was not wearing her own T-shirt, but a baggy sweatshirt instead. Instantly, Raven gasped, examining the sweatshirt and realizing with a jolt that whoever put it on had taken off her shirt earlier.

"Don't worry, I behaved."

Raven stood up with a start staring into the shadows of the light and noticing her surroundings for the first time. She seemed to be in an apartment, a quite empty apartment at that, one lone couch against a wall with only two dim lamps and a television. The person sitting upon the couch Raven instantly recognized, by the mask upon his face and the smirk in his voice.

"Red X."

"Raven."

"What did you do to me?"

"I saved your life."

"Liar. I was fine on my own." Raven reached down and grabbed her bag and jacket, ruffling through her bag to check all her possessions were there. Red X stood. Raven could hear the smile in his voice.

"I didn't touch your bag. I wasn't going to touch you, but I thought you seriously hurt yourself. After that trance you went in- 4 hours ago, you healed that bad cut on your arm. You have a few bruises, but you'll live, I swear. And I didn't see anything I shouldn't." He motioned to the bag of food. "Eat, I'm sure you're hungry."

Raven raised a hand, black energy forming around it. "I'm not eating until my questions are answered."

Red X was smiling, she was sure of it. "Shoot, then. Your mouth, not your beams."

"What happened at the fight?"

"I was actually looking for something to do. That pervert tried to rape you. I saved you and as you were injured, brought you back here. I was going to take you to the Tower, but I had questions of my own. Why were you dressed like that and where were your friends?"

"That's none of your business."

"Than I guess you don't care to have any of your other questions answered?"

Raven let out a low growl. She was in no mood. Waking up in a situation like she had was not something she enjoyed. "You forget who has the upper hand here."

"You forget that I've stopped you before and I know how to do it again."

Raven's eyes narrowed. "Robin was the one who stopped me, not you."

"But I know how he did it. Now come on, answer the question..." A slight taunt echoed in his voice.

"I took a break and didn't want to be harassed by crowds as a Titan. I don't always have to dress in my uniform."

"What's the bag for?"

"I'm surprised you don't already know, since I'm sure you went through it."

"Actually, I didn't. I respect privacy."

"Whatever."

"Next question?"

"What did you do with the man?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes."

"Why do you care?"

"Just tell me. Now." Raven wasn't sure why she asked. A curiosity? Or a true concern for what happened to the man, whether he was destroyed, captured, or let loose upon other innocent girls.

"I don't know..." He was teasing her, playing with her. Raven glared at him, a vein throbbing in her forehead.

"Did you kill him?"

He laughed. "No, but I'm sure he wished I did."

Raven stared at him. For a fleeting moment she remembered his hands, his face and his eyes, before deciding something. She wasn't a Titan- she didn't have to care. "Good," she murmured.

"Aha, so the hero approves a villainous act? My, my, how people do change..."

"I'm touched. You're not the greatest person yourself."

"Did I say I was? Don't forget, I saved your team's ass."

"For your own advantage."

"You'd be surprised."

"You are a Villain. A bad guy, a thief- someone the Titans fought against. The only reason to help was for your self. Not us."

"You know, there is grey sometimes. Its not always black and white."

"You do bad things. You are a bad person."

"Then what does that make you?"

Raven's eyes widened suddenly, she stared at Red X in surprise. "What does that make you and your precious Titans? What does that make Slade? Good and evil don't have rules, Raven."

"How dare-"

"You think people love you as much as they love Robin or Starfire or Beast Boy or even Cyborg? This city fears you. Your fans lie in the dark, the twisted, the depressed, the misunderstood-"

"Stop-"

"You constantly do things that make people wonder if you're even the good guy."

"It's not my fault!"

"Bad is bad, Raven. There is no grey between."

Raven gazed at him for a long time. After a silent moment, she suddenly realized how far their conversation had gone. For simply staring at that mask, she had somehow lost her reasoning, forgetting where she was. She sulked for a moment, then looked out one of the small dusty windows. "Where's your bathroom?"

Red X pointed it out and she took her bag and slipped inside, emerging soon again in her T-shirt and black jacket, the hood up over her eyes and shadowing a bit of her face but not quite as much as her cloak.

"I should go."

"Why? Are you planning on going back to the Tower to tell all your friends about your adventure with the Red X?"

"No."

"Then why leave?"

"I want to."

He studied her for a moment then shrugged. Raven could notice the touch in his voice as he asked her to stay. She looked upon the floor and saw the bag of food, cold by now, saw how he had treated her wounds, even bandaging a sore spot on the back of her shoulder, Raven had noticed as she was changing. He seemed to care about her. But it was ore than that. Raven could see past the mask, into his mind and his heart.

He was lonely.

Raven felt a surge of pity for him suddenly. She knew what it was like to be lonely, to feel like everyone was against you. For a moment she had the urge to rush to him and fling her arms around his neck in a hug, but her cold reasoning held her back. He was a villain-

She wasn't a Titan anymore.

She didn't have to hate him.

But what if it was a trap? He could be planning to kidnap her and hold her hostage in ransom from the Titans. He could be planning to kill her- but if he wanted to do that he could have left her with that man, or killed her during her trance.

He must have saw the sudden mistrust in her eyes, because he spoke once more. "I know you're not a Titan currently." At her slight look of surprise he continued. "You are five teenagers living in a giant T. One of you would have to blow up eventually. You are wearing different clothes, you were nearly raped and a Titan didn't come to your rescue nor did you ask for help and a Titan has not come bursting through these doors since you got here." He studied her for a long moment. "You ran away, didn't you?"

Raven glared at him. She suddenly realized her hand was at her side, not glowing black aimed at him as it was before. "Why should you care?"

"You're in my house, aren't you?"

"Yes, I did. And I don't plan on going back."

"Then stay here."

"Why?

"Why not? I swear I won't kill you or tie you up or any thing like that. Where else would you go?"

Raven weighed her chances. She could still protect herself, she had powers and she knew Red X's attacks while he knew little of hers. She watched him carefully, trying to see behind the mask in a way. This could be a trap. She could be dead tomorrow. But Raven as tired of playing the good girl. It was time to take a chance.

"I'll stay."

She swore his eyes lit up, even if she couldn't see them. "Great, Raven." He gave a mock bow. "I'd be honored with your presence."

"Yes you will. You most definently will."

* * *

_With whispered words and the softest touch_

_I see past your shadowed mask_

_And into the heart of the boy, no,the man_

_Who saw me for who I was._

_No words you need to speak_

_And no voice I need to hear,_

_For you seem to be my all_

_And at this moment I hold you dear_

_As I run and hide from my nightmares_

_You hold my hand in yours_

_And in the sudden morning light_

_I can see your face so clearly._

_The face I've dreamed of_

_The face I feared_

_The face I could love_

_And hold forever dear._


	4. Behind the Mask

**_OOC: Haha, I do believe most of you shall like this chapter._**

* * *

"Where's Raven?"

"Still in her room."

"It's been all day."

"I do hope our friend is okay..."

"I'm sure she is Star, probably still sulking."

"Beast Boy, can't you turn into a fly and go in?"

"I tried. She sealed the door with some spell or something. I can't get into her room at all. It's like she's keeping us out on purpose."

"She hasn't come out for anything not even to eat or to take a-"

"We get it, Cyborg."

"Well, what are we going to do?"

"Give her until tomorrow morning. If we can't get in, then we'll try something else."

"What if something has happened to her? I cannot forget Malchior..."

"I know, Star, I know."

"But Robin, what if-"

"We'll get in her room tomorrow. But tonight I want to let her relax. She'll come out. She always has before, hasn't she?"

"Yes, but-"

"Raven has a temper, we all know that. And we all forget it sometimes. We forget that she's easy to upset."

"Dude, what are we supposed to do? Treat her like glass?"

"Yeah. Its like we can't do certain things around her, like she'll explode."

"I'm not saying we're wrong. I'm not saying she is either. You guys have to admit, she's different. And it seems like we're not used to her yet, even if she was one of the first here."

"How are we supposed to become used to her?"

"Yeah. When we try to get to know her, we nearly kill ourselves."

"But you still succeeded, did you not?"

"Robin, its easier for you because she's been in your mind and all. You know her better than us. She actually likes you."

"I understand her."

"No one can understand her."

"I believe I am feeling the bad for talking of Raven so behind her back. She is indeed our friend."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"We wait?"

"We wait."

"Til tomorrow?"

"Til tomorrow."

"Til tomorrow."

* * *

"Well, I guess the proper thing is to say goodnight."

"Whoever said you were proper?"

Raven looked at him carefully. The apartment had a back room which he had kindly offered to her. In a quick decision, she figured sleeping in the front room would be best, she could slip away if need be without awakening him. A thin blanket and a shabby pillow rested on the couch, waiting to be used for whatever warmth and comfort it could provide. Raven had eaten only a little, finding that to be substantial. Her nerves were racked, her stomach didn't seem to be doing too well as she still recovered from the rape attempt.

"Good point."

"Thank you."

That's how they always seemed to talk, politely, calmly. In the past three hours as it darkened they spoke very little. Raven had found a place to meditate in while Red X worked on one of his gadgets at a table. Silence didn't seem to occupy the room, as the whirs and cracks of the tools on the hardware and Raven's chanting were more than enough noise. And though it was not silent, Raven didn't mind for once.

Raven's eyes went to the clock. Nine thirty eight. Hardly bed time, especially for someone who had a four hour long nap.

"Is it just me or are you not tired?"

Raven glanced back at Red X and shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Well if you're not tired what's the use of going to sleep?"

"I've meditated enough, especially with being in that trance."

"Maybe we could just...talk..."

The words shook through Raven suddenly as she recognized the meaning. Not only that, but had those words not been spoken to her before by a beast called Malchior?

"About what?"

"I don't know... life in general I guess."

Raven could have laughed, a slight chuckle escaping her. She sat cross-legged on the couch as Red X took the chair across from her.

"You know, the voice-changer gets annoying."

"I know."

"Why not turn it off?"

"Its habit. I still don't want to show my face, not even to you.. its my 'secret identity.'"

Raven shook her head in mild exasperation. "Well, what shall we talk about?"

"Why are you a Titan?"

"Because I'm not a Villain."

"That doesn't really make sense."

"I want to do good things, so I'm a Titan. Why are you a villain?"

"I'm not. I'm a thief. I don't kill, I don't torture. I steal what I need and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less."

"A priceless jewel is something you need?"

"Mother's Day gift."

"How thoughtful."

"I know."

Raven bit back another laugh. Red X was amusing to talk to, much more amusing than a Titan. "Next question?"

"Umm... how about this. What's the most embarrassing thing you ever did?"

"Isn't that supposed to be a secret?"

"Well..yeah.."

"Well then why tell you?"

"Good point."

"Thank you again."

"You're welcome."

Red X laughed. "What an interesting conversation this is. I have no idea what to talk about."

"Neither do I."

Raven laughed slightly, unsure of what she was doing. But simply looking at Red X's mask made her chuckle.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, but there are times when that mask just looks so funny."

"I'm sure... Maybe if you're nice eventually I'll take it off."

"Maybe? Maybe if you do I'll have my eyes burnt out of their sockets."

"Maybe you'd be surprised."

"Try me."

Just as she had thought, Red X slid his hand at the neck and slipped off the mask, shaking his head to ruffle his hair and looking at Raven. "Well?"

Raven's jaw nearly hit the floor but was quickly pulled up to her chin as she stared at him. Shaggy brown hair rippled to below his ears, falling in a tussled manner giving an impish appearance, matched with tanned skin from days spent outside. Large blue eyes watched for her reaction, his lips pulled into a soft smile, not quite a smirk but close to it. In other words, he was gorgeous. Starfire's eyes would be popping from her head right now. Aqualad was nothing compared to this guy.

"Have your eyes burned yet?" His voice was beautiful, deep and smooth like silk, rich and full of life. She wondered what he would sound like laughing.

"...no..."

"Hmm?"

Raven glared at him, turning her head away for a moment before turning to look at him. "You're okay, I guess." She wouldn't give him the satisfaction os her saying yes. No way.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"If you want to."

Red X smiled and placed his mask on the ground before reaching out to Raven. "For a formal meeting? Call me Red."

"Raven."

"Nice to meet you, Raven."

"Same to you." Raven reached out and took his hand in a firm handshake, smiling softly. It had been a long time since she had smiled, since she had showed a form of affection such as hand shake. Her hand quivered slightly at the touch.

"What shall we do now that we are introduced?"

Something gleamed red in Raven's eyes for a moment as reality struck. That moment of compassion felt like a smack in the face- she was sitting here with a thief, a person the Titans would do anything to destroy. She had left the Titans. A daring feeling overtook her. Suddenly she felt restless- wanting to get up and move, do something.

"What's wrong?"

"Why don't we go out and do something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know... What do you do for entertainment?"

"Umm..steal things. Or else normal everyday things."

The red flashed again. An image appeared in her mind, a smiling red-claoked girl, four red eyes gleaming. A wave of hatred suddenly overtook her, hatred towards the Titans in a furious wave making her long for spite and revenge.

"Well then, _Red_,lets go out and cause some excitement."

Red grinned. "Dressed like that? I don't think so."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "What is wrong with the way I dress?"

"Nothing. But a T-shirt doesn't raise much fear."

"Fine. Then, lets go get the.. What do you call it, the 'Five Finger Discount?'"

He laughed. It was so melodious, spine-tingleing with grace and poise yet somehow it was difficult for Raven not to smile at the sound of his laugh. "Now you're learning."

"I'm a quick learner."

"Good."

The best way to get back at the Titans, to prove how much they needed her, was to be that which they hated, a Villain.


	5. Rose

OOC: Warning, this is meant to be a short chapter, so when you review could you all do me a favor and don't ask for longer chapters, because this is meant to be short... Yeah, and thank you readers and reviewers! I feel loved! -hands out cookies to all readers- Yup. Cookies are good.. -drools-

Oh yeah, and I'm thinking of changing the title to, _"As Pretty as a Rose_." What do you all think? Current title or new one? Tell me your opinion!

Disclaimer: Don't make me say it! Rawr!

* * *

"How does this look?" Raven gave an un-Raven spin as Red X clapped softly.

"Now you look like a bad girl."

Raven didn't smile, but a touch of mischief appeared in her eyes. Ah, what a thrill and all she was doing was stealing an outfit! Imagine the thrill of stealing jewelry and such valuable items. The adrenaline rush was killing her, making her hunger for more and destroying the sense of calm she had controlled for so long. For once, she didn't care about the future, about the monster within her in the shape of a red-cloaked girl. No, if she was evil, she had no reason to hide it anymore.

She shifted and looked to the mirror beside her. It wasn't Raven looking out. Her short violet hair had been dyed and streaked, her hair now black with two blue streaks towards the front. She wore a black skirt, a bit longer than Starfire's with a rather large silver belt, silver stitching along the edges and creating a rose on the front. Her shirt was similar to the way her leotard seemed to fit, long blue sleeves except belling out at the hand to create a draping effect, the bottom at an angle and revealing a bit of her stomach, the shirt tight around the bust area. Her blue boots were replaced by black, tighter with sharper heels. The red jewel upon her forehead was gone and from how blank it looked there, Raven had instead had a small black rose drawn, only about as big as the jewel had been. Her eyes looked different, a hidden gleam of mischief and spite glittering within the violet depths.

"Now then, Raven," Red continued, standing up form his seat and holding a hand out to her, casting a glance at the cashier who was tied and gagged in a corner, watching them with curiosity and fear in her eyes. He had replaced his mask, only to be expected. "Are you still going to be called Raven? Was that not a past part of your life?"

Raven shook her head just slightly. "I have shed the name Raven just when I shed the title, 'Titan' and the appearance I once had. Call me Rose now." Red nodded, reaching over to the counter where a variety of necklaces seemed to sit. As roses and flowers seemed to be the new, 'in' this month, rosebuds weren't rare, and to find a silver chain with a blue rose pendant upon it wasn't startling. Red clasped it around her neck. Raven was surprised to find she didn't tremble as his hands touched the nape of her neck. She didn't fear him. She trusted him, even after fighting him she found a reason to trust him. Raven could help him and Red could help her.

"Rose, shall we?"

Raven, Rose now, nodded, a slight smile touching her lips, perhaps more of a smirk than anything else, but they walked out the door together.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"TITANS!"

Robin's voice awoke every Titan in the Tower, each one jumping out of bed, already in costume, and dashing towards the front room. Robin stood in front of a wide map upon the screen. Yawning, Beats Boy looked around for Raven.

"Where's Raven?"

"Still in her room."

Glancing at the clock Beast Boy yawned again. 12:56. "Probably asleep..."

"There's a robbery at the jewelry store."

"This late?"

"Yep."

Beats Boy groaned as the others scratched their eyes before taking off through the city. Beast Boy changed into a horse and began to gallop there but soon his gallop turned into a trot then a walk, and within moments he was lying on the ground, asleep. It took a star-bolt in the rear to get him going again.

"Who's robbing the place anyways?"

"I don't know. But I think it's Red X-"

"And someone else."

The Titans stopped in the street, watching as Red X and another, a girl with black and blue hair filled up multiple bags with jewels. A silver ring glittered on the girl's hand, as did several bracelets and chains. She was laughing, a sound that the Titans couldn't even recognize until the girl turned to them and the violet eyes they all knew so well, though accompanied by a grin, was visible.

"Raven!"

The girl didn't flinch at the name. She stepped forward from the jewelry store door and faced them, one hand holding the bag elegantly while the other was outstretched towards them.

"I'm not Raven anymore, dear Titans. My name is Rose, and I'd be happy if that's what you called me."

Bolts of black shot from her hand towards the nearest car, picking it up and hurling it at them, instantly crashing into Cyborg and Starfire and sending them flying into a heap, a incident Raven knew they would handle as the two had quite a bit of strength. It wasn't quite the body she was trying to injure, but the pride, the spirit. Raven wanted to see them astonished and horrified at her attacks. And her wish came true.

She bent a pole, wrapping Beast Boy in it instantly and lifting the boy in the air, shaking him up and down before throwing him far across a few buildings. Robin raised his hands, staring at her, his masked eyes directly connected to her violet ones.

"Raven... what are you doing?"

She had been in his mind. Raven knew he could feel her anger, her sudden hatred towards them that was pronounced by the burning hatred towards all humanity trapped within her. She smiled, an eerily evil smile, and raised one hand towards him.

"It's Rose, Robin. And what I'm doing is quite simple." With a blast Robin was sent hurling away.

"I'm defeating the Teen Titans."

* * *

OOC: I bet you all hate me now... Ah well, keep reading and perhaps I can redeem myself! 


	6. Promises

OOC: Okay, now its getting good.. Hopefully this shall please you all, as I think it shall. And I do like the idea of, "To Repair a Glass Rose," as a title... I will probably be changing it to that because I am utterly bored with this title..hehe...

Disclaimer: I do not own them. I do own Red's unmasked self though. He is mine! Rawr!

* * *

"This can't be right."

"We saw her."

"No."

"Beast Boy-"

"That couldn't have been her."

"Friend, I do not know..."

"Star, I have to agree with Beast Boy. That didn't seem like Raven."

"That was her. That was the real Raven."

"That was her body. We could see that even through the dyes. But there was soemthing different about her."

"Yeah. She was happy."

"She was happy kicking our butts!"

"Well, what are we going to do?"

"Raven's our friend. She couldn't have joined Red X."

"We made her so mad."

There was a groan. "This is like Terra all over again."

"Beast Boy- Remember what Raven said before she..left?"

"She said... she said we thought she'd be another Terra."

"What if she's getting back at us?"

"She hurt us, Robin. Our friend Raven hurt us."

"Yes, but not horribly. We all know she could have killed us easily."

"But she hurt us. She attacked us."

"She's confused-"

"Robin, face it. She's gone bad."

"No!"

"No."

"Raven's not bad. She's messed up, but never bad."

"What are we going to do?"

"Talk to her?"

"Her communicator's gone."

"Face to face."

"How do you suppose we do that? Knock on her door and let her hurt us again?"

"We do not even know where our friend is."

"Stop calling her that Star. She hurt us! She's not our friend."

"Raven is our friend and would not have turned on us."

"That wasn't just Raven, remember? She told us she was Rose."

"So she got a new name, what does that have to do?"

"It's a sort of symbol. Raven is still with us. Rose is the one with Red X. Two different desires within one body."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

"THINK OF SOMETHING! THIS IS RAVEN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, NOT SOME ORDINARY VILLAIN! SHE CAN DO SERIOUS DAMAGE!"

"But she hasn't."

"SO!"

"She hasn't and she won't. She trying to teach us a lesson."

"And?"

"We have to show her we're her friends still."

"Whatever."

"I do wish to see Raven."

"Aren't you afraid she'll attack us again?"

"Its not Raven I'm afraid of.."

"Then who will is it?"

"Rose."

* * *

"That was...actually fun."

Red smiled at her as he slipped off his mask, the two lounging comfortably in his apartment, the bag of jewels spread across the room. Raven examined a silver bangle curiously while Red was simply admiring a large diamond necklace.

"I'm glad you agree, Rose."

Raven nodded to him, the hint of a smile touching her lips once more. She slipped the bangle over her wrist along with several others.

It was odd what was happening to her. As she found herself becoming less and less of a Teen Titan and the Raven they knew, she was becoming more and more like Rose.

Rose was fearless, brave, cocky, sarcastic, and anxious constantly. Rose wasn't afraid to smile or to scream, to be angry,. As Raven sunk deeper and deeper into Rose, she began to even accept her secret and the curse she had of being emotionless. She found that her life of caution was over. Instead of confining the emotions in her mind she could release them and become...normal.

"What shall we do now?"

"What time is it?"

"1:45"

"Only?"

"Yep."

"Well..."

"How about we head down to the warehouses."

"Warehouses?"

"Yeah, there's a dance club there."

Rose almost laughed at that, her finger upon the necklace around ehr neck. She raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I don't dance. And I'm surprised you do."

"Oh, what's wrong... Afraid of dancing? Its quite simple."

"I never like to do it."

"Why not?"

"I just...didn't."

Red reached out and took Rose's hand pulling her off the couch and spinning her before putting his hands upon her waist. Confused, Rose reached out and placed her hands upon his shoulders as she had seen so many others do before. Her heart began to beat wildly, she felt a flush creep up her neck.

Red swayed slightly. Raven felt a burning feeling where his hands were, reassuring, not painful, calming. It was funny how a simple mark like that could leave you feeling tender in that spot for longer than any injury could cause you pain.

She shifted and moved away slightly only to have him move closer. One hand slipped from her hip and touched her chin, raising it so he looked straight into her eyes.

"You know Raven, you always fascinated me."

Raven could say nothing. Suddenly she was trapped in his gaze, his hypnotic eyes watching her ever so carefully and full of care.

"You were so different. Different form the others. I felt like we had quite a bit in common, Raven. I am grateful Rose is my guest."

Raven nodded slightly, still caught but managing to say a few words. "I am glad you are such a wonderful host."

Red laughed lightly and pulled Raven forward cupping his mouth over hers in a kiss.

Raven's eyes widened in surprise, broken suddenly from that gaze but she let them close, allowing herself to be swept up in the kiss, melting into him, fitting together with him as if two perfectly made puzzle pieces, their lips touching long and steady. Red was neither aggressive nor shy, but simple, obviously not a novice, passion sweeping through Raven as she felt her knees quiver, grateful for his hand upon her waist to steady her.

He pulled away, to Raven's sorrow and she met his gaze, this time not caught within it but meeting it with equal care and comfort. Red smiled and brushed a strand of her hair.

"Remember. Rose or Raven, you will always have my respect and my friendship."

Raven smiled softly.

"Rose will always remain at your side."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He swept her into another kiss and Raven lost all senses once more, drowning in the sweet pure passion.


	7. Hello

_OOC: Yes, I know it took awhile. Please don't be angry, as I've had quite a busy life lately and I can't spend as much time online as I used to. Warning, school is starting tomorrow and I will not be on as often. And to Raven2547, I don't know whether to take your words as a compliment that you like my writing, or an insult. Either way this should make you ahppy. And please, I know when I'm taking a long time and I swear I won't forget about this fic, but I do have a life besides this site and as I will soon be swamped with homework...I won't be on as much... Please if you want to remind me for one reason or another, don't review on my story with swearwords, email me at with swear words. I don't want them displayed on my review list... _

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, though Red's identity behind the mask is mine, as is Rose._

_

* * *

Raven..Raven...Raven, please answer me... _

Robin laid upon his bed, his eyes shut behind the mask and his fists clenched as the name repeated across his mind. He took deep breaths in an effort to calm himself as frustration began to edge across him. Why wouldn't she answer? Raven was a part of him, she had been in his mind and they had a bond stronger than physical distance. She could hear him.

_Raven, please. Hear me out...just listen to what I have to say..._

Raven bit her lip as she glanced back at the doorway into the bedroom where Red slept, his eyes closed and his breaths moving his chest underneath the T-shirt. Raven slept in the clothes she had bought at the mall, though in fact she wasn't sleeping. Robin's voice continued to penetrate through her mind until at long last, completely aggravated, she crossed her legs and began to hover above the couch. After a few soft words, careful to not awaken Red, a black shadowy raven slipped from her body and through the roof, working until finally finding its way to Robin's room and settling upon the floor. She wasn't there but instead a shadowed form of her sat there, only her eyes shining from the spirit form, eyes glowing with a white hue.

"What do you want Robin?"

"I just want to talk to you." At the sight of her Robin's eyes widened but he calmed instantly. Better to see her like this, than in the clothes of the girl who had attacked him today. He wouldn't be able to stand that...

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is." Robin stepped forward, slipping from his bed and standing before the shadowed figure. He knew she was watching him, from wherever she was. She could feel her aura around him, stronger than if she were to come in human form. A chilly feeling, one that radiated around the person, but empty, empty of color and any emotion. Not even blue or sorrow.

"Raven I understand that you are angry with us, Beast Boy especially, but you have to realize we care about you. We've argued thousands of times before and its never led to this...Why now?"

"That's exactly it. We've argued thousands of times and this was the last straw..." The shadowy figure blinked, darkness shrouding the only light it held for a moment before looking back. There was nothing but shadow upon her, as if she was only a mere image cast from her own physique, if for all but her eyes.

"Raven...please. Its something more. You can tell me. I understand you."

"No you don't. You know me better than any other, but you do not understand me, Robin. Red X understands me. He makes me happy."

"But he's a-"

"A villain? Yes. You should know Robin. I was in your mind, remember? I know how you felt when you were Slade's apprentice. It was a thrill that you hated yet at the same time were addicted to. You wanted more. It's like once you tasted being bad you were hooked. I've never been a true good person and you know that. I've finally realized it. I'm not glass."

"You're not glass but you're not stone either, Rae."

Raven blinked again. Robin had called her Rae? Truly, only Cyborg often called her that- Terra had called her by that name once, and Beast Boy occasionally used the title when he was feeling daring. But never Robin.

"You who know me best, Robin. You understand what its like. I am happy with Red X, happier than I've been in a long time. I was treated like glass here. Everyone was afraid to anger me or speak to me in certain tones because I would burst. You kept me close because you feared me, just as you feared Terra. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' I don't belong with the Titans..."

"You don't belong with Red X!"

The eyes shifted and for a moment Robin could almost see the hint of a smile upon the shadow's lips.

"I don't belong anywhere. I was an outcast at birth. But I've finally found someone who I can be happy with, and I've just discovered how wonderful happiness feels."

Robin clenched his jaw, turning his gaze to the wall. How could he explain to her? She didn't watch the Titans walk through the door with their heads lowered. She didn't see defeat written upon their features. She didn't feel Starfire's head upon her shoulder as she attempted to keep the tears in. She didn't see the grave expression upon the face of a boy that was meant to be happy. She didn't watch Cyborg drown himself in work and cast wistful, sorrowful glances at the door of a friend's bedroom. She didn't watch as sorrow and fear ripped apart the team. She didn't feel the betrayal that swept through his body as he hurled through the air, his feet stinging form her bolt.

"Raven...I don't know how to say this..." Why was he suddenly as unclear as when he spoke with Starfire upon one of their last missions, when they were stranded on a alien planet.

She watched him, her eyes glowing as if mocking him, taunting him with silent words in a way that reminded him so much of Red X he shuddered.

"The Titans need you. They haven't been the same. Starfire cried, Rae, she was crying. And Cyborg couldn't say a word, not even when someone asked him what he wanted to eat. Beats Boy hasn't cracked a single joke. He just sits there like a mindless drone. They miss you."

"They feel ashamed, nothing more. Their friend hurt them." The impact of those words struck them both, Robin flinching as if she had driven a stake through his flesh and Raven's heart leaping.

"Raven, we need you. Come back."

"Robin...you remind me a lot of Red...Perhaps that's why I felt a stronger bond with you than most. But I am happy to be where I am. As Terra once said to you- 'I'm not some sad little girl waiting to be rescued.' I am happy. I want to be this way."

"But Raven-"

"Raven is dead Robin. Raven died the day I left the Tower and all I cared about behind. She exists only in soul within these walls. Rose lives now."

"Raven..."

Robin could say nothing more. He sighed, staring into her bright eyes and closing his own for a moment. He stepped back and took a note from the table and clenched it in his fist before holding it out.

"Take this, then. If you will not come back, take this."

The shadow stared at him for a long moment and extended a hand. Reaching out Robin dropped it within the shadow's grasp and touched her hand with his before taking it in his grip. It was solid, but it was cold. Icy.

"Raven will never die."

The shadow paused and turned the white eyes on to him for a long moment before pulling away.

"When I see you tomorrow, Robin, as I am sure I will, I will be Rose. I will act as if this never happened. Rose is not your friend."

"But Raven is. And she's the one who matters."

With wide eyes Raven stepped back and grasped the note firmly. "Goodbye Robin."

"Goodbye Raven."

With a soft word and a sigh the shadowy form took the figure of a raven once more and slipped through the ceiling. Robin sighed and climbed back onto his bed.

Raven was not lost. She consisted within the shell named Rose and that shell would be opened. Raven would return one day.

But what of Rose?

Two sides, two minds, two people, one body. Two lives, the hero, Raven, and the Villain, Rose. Both stubborn and proud and never-ending. How would Raven escape herself?

And how would she find happiness is Rose was destroyed?

It was a lose-lose situation. Either Raven remained a Villain and the Titans would be destroyed fighting her or they would be forced to capture her and put her prison. Or Raven would return with only a dead heart and shattered glass within her, where she would waste away and fade into the shadows already attacking her mind.

Robin closed his eyes.

"Raven..."

_**Hello by Evanescence**_

_Playground school bell rings, again_

_Rain clouds come to play, again..._

_Has no one told you she's not breathing..._

_Hello, I am your mind, _

_giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello..._

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken_

_Hellow, I am the lie_

_Living for you so you can hide..._

_Don't cry._

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hellow, I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday..._

* * *

As the raven re-entered the apartment Raven's eyes opened wearily, the note clenched in her fist tightly. She threw it on top of her bag and walked over to the couch, falling upon it and sighing loudly. Suddenly the memory of the large bed within her room at the Tower called to her and she bit her lip, No, she didn't belong there. 

A trembling hand reached towards her bag and she took the note in her grip, opening it to reveal the handwriting within, many different types as a matter of fact, the first neat and elegant, curved with a fancy flourish, the second a mere scrawl, the third large and bulky letters from a patient and weary hand,and thelast a steady and full script.

The Titans.

Raven cast the note upon her bag once more and closed he eyes. She wasn't going to read that. It was most likely a plea for her return.

She flipped over, lying upon her side and facing the couch back, biting her lipin an attempt to keep tears in. She betrayed them but they deserved it. Theytreated her badly...she was getting revenge.

But why did it feel so bad?

Perhaps because she had seen what betrayal did to them. She had listened to the soft sobs of Beast Boy withinhis room the night Terra left. She had seen Starfire's face when Robin 'betrayed'them. Raven had seen them suffer and she knew what pain she was causing them.

A tear slipped down her face unbidden and she closed her eyes, a single sob escaping her. Why was she doing this to her friends?

_No, they're not your friends._

_They cared for me.._

_They treated you like glass. They fear you._

_They sheltered me. They rasied me. They protected me._

_They are nothing._

_They are my friends._

_Red is your friend. _

_So are the Titans._

_Are you weak, Raven? Do you not see what they are doing? They are playing you like a fool, making you believe they miss you when in truth they don't care about your happiness. They just don't want you to hurt them... Robin should have understood when you told him you were happy with Red._

_He cares..._

_Robin is a fool._

_No..._

_Yes. Raven,I am your stronger part. I am the willing, the strong, the bold, the cunning. I am Rose. I know better._

_You are merely a name I have given to one of my emotions, hatred._

_And you are nothing but a cowering wimp._

_No._

_Yes. Your mind is filled with emotions, each with a different colored cloak, how cute. You are the white, the pure, the whole, of how wonderful. But I am the red, I am what makes Red love you, the fierce fighter within you and the anger and sarcasm that he knows you as. What are you? You are nothing but Raven..oh Raven. The sad, lonely little girl who hid behind her books all her life, afraid of the real world._

_Stop it!_

_Why should I? You are nothing, Raven, nothing._

_I am something you damned thing! _

_Prove it._

_I will. You'll see._

_I bet I will.

* * *

Red creeped out from the room a few minutes later, looking down upon the now sleeping Raven with sorrow in his eyes. Reaching out he took the note upon her bag in his hands and sat down in a chair, reading it by what little light the room held even at night. _

_Raven,_

_My friend we have all missed you so much. I believe you are happy, as you were smiling and laughing when I saw you, but friend Raven, why does your happiness come from hurting us? We do care about you. I realize you are not interested in the painting of the toenails or the sharing of girl secrets, but you are a friend we all miss so dearly. You are the one who is reassuring simply by being there, your ways of being honest are brutal yet revealing facts to us lies hid from view. We miss you Raven. If you are truly happy, then I do not wish for you to come back, as you seemed quite unhappy here._

_Your friend forever, Starfire_

**raven,**

**im not good at writing notes buti really wanted you to know this we do care about you. your not another Terra your a friend And though we dont get along well at time,i really hope you know that you mean a lot to us.i hope you come back.**

**-beast boy**

**_Rae,_**

**_You know what you did was wrong. We all know it. But what we did was wrong too. We forgot how important you are to us, Rae and you reminded us of it. We really care about you. BB hasn't been normal since you left, and Star hasn't either. Robin just stares off into space. i'm the one who handles it the best I suppose becauseI know you. You've always been like my sister. I can talk to you and you can talk to me. I don't understand what you're dealing with riht now, but I want you to know I care. We all care._**

**_Cyborg_**

Raven I know you well. I know you didn't meant to hurt us and we all care about you. Reconsider and come back to us.

-Robin

Red stared at the paper and returned it to the bag with a silent sigh. Raven didn't belong here...But Rose did.


	8. Shattered Glass

OOC: you all thought I abandoned you, huh? Well, I promised I wouldn't. And though it took me awhile to finish this...I will! Only two more chapters after this one, folks, and then it is all over.. :( I had a request to finish this story before my others so..hey. Yeah, I like this chapter. Its very...well, you'll find out.

Disclaimer: Bah...grr...no I do not own the Titans or any of that.. -- But Red's true identity is mine! huggles

* * *

The morning's light shone upon her face, illuminating it. How different this girl was then Raven, oh how different. The hair, jet black suddenly in color with the strands of blue touching her pale features so delicately. The single hand, bare without the usual black hand covering, touched with an exotic red jewel rested with a few fingers under her face, head resting against a pillow. Several rings glittered on her fingers, bangles circling her small wrists smoothly.

Red stared at her, his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees. How beautiful she was. How perfectly flawless. All through the night she had not stirred, except for once, not shifting from that spot. But that one time, the one time she moved forward, nearly on her stomach before back onto her back. There was the softest cry and immediately Red was at er side.

He had never left her. From the moment he read the letter he remained sitting there, watching her and trapped in his own thoughts. But suddenly all thought escaped him and he sat upon the couch, cradling her head in his arms as she cried softly, no tears visible but anguish written upon her pale cheeks and drawn features. Her eyes remained close, thank god, but instead she moved against him, lying her head against his chest and falling back asleep to his heartbeat.

The sweet fragrance of her hair, the luring touch of her skin...oh Red could have taken her in his arms and done what he wished with her. She would have devoted herself to him, out of care for him and out of an inner-heat that roared like a beast inside. His fingers traced soft designs upon her sleeping cheek as she quieted and the anguish faded only to be replaced by that gentle peace. Regretfully Red returned her to her position and sank into the chair once more.

He cared for her, more than he had cared for any other. What was it about her? Her fierce and fiery temper, yes, but also that calm and penetrating gaze she had, the eyes that made you feel as if you were naked, like she could see right into the depths of your heart. Her power, her eyes, her skin, her voice...

The sun continued to rise slowly, casting even more beams upon Raven's face until at last the half-demon's eyes opened and she blinked several times, sitting up and stretching out stiff joints. Much to her surprise she saw red sitting there, eyes on the floor and a look of sorrow etched upon his features.

"Red?"

Red's head snapped up and he looked at her, softening his gaze and running a hand through his hair sheepishly. "Morning. Sorry..I didn't want to wake you."

Raven allowed a slight smile to touch her lips before swinging her legs off the couch and standing. "Not a problem." She stretched again before reaching out to her bag. Her hand stiffened as it neared the note and she cast a glance at Red before shoving the note down into her bag. "I'm going to go change.."

Raven slipped into the bathroom and Red stood, taking brisk steps to look out one of the few windows.

Today was going to be a rough day.

* * *

The alarm rang in the Titans Tower, jolting them from their sleepless night of trances, of hurt feelings, of tears, of sorrow and for Robin of an entire night in the exact position same position a thief was in far away in an apartment as he stared down at a sleeping Raven.

"Titans, Go!"

Somehow the call meant little to them. They felt sluggish and for a long moment even Starfire did not wish to go out and perform a heroic deed. Robin could see defeat in their eyes and he knew. They all knew. Today they would see Rose.

None of them were prepared for seeing her again. But they had to do it. For whether she was friend or foe, if she put people in danger it was up to the Titans to stop her.

She was there.

Her black hair gleaming in the sunlight, eyes gleaming with a hidden joy as she saw them approach. Above her head floated a car, surrounded y a black aura where people could be seen inside, screaming and banging on the door.

They had all felt that black power, the strange sensation of her telekinesis 1ifting them up into the air or gently setting them down. It was horrifying to see her use her powers this way.

But Robin's eyes fell onto red who stood next to Raven with his arms crossed across his chest. Robin could picture his smug smile and fury wound through him.

He turned to them. "Distract Red, beat him. Maybe we can talk some sense into Raven."

They threw themselves forward. It was amazing the difference between when they fought Red and when they fought Raven. Immediately Starfire had flown towards Raven, desperation in her eyes. "Raven, friend, why do you do this?"

Raven grinned at her, the grin a disturbing expression upon the face of one who held such hatred. "You're not my friend, remember?" She held out one hand and shot jest of black towards Star in an attempt to catch hold of her. Starfire dodged them nimbly, casting a glance at Robin, Beast Boy and Cyborg who immediately went after Red.

"I am sorry Raven!" With that starbolts were fired from her hands and hit Raven full in the chest, blowing her back and the car losing its hold. It began to drop but was caught by the super-strong alien and set down gently where the people escaped and ran for their lives.

Raven stood swiftly, throwing a glance at red who was managing quite well against Cyborg and Robin. Wait, where was Beast Boy?

From behind her came two huge hairy arms, wrapping around her and holding her arms to her side. Green hairy arms. Raven hissed at him as Starfire landed on the ground in front of her.

"Raven please! Stop this fighting!"

"No."

_Azarath Metrion Zinthos!_

Bolts of black light shot from Raven's hands as they were clenched at her side. One reached out to grab Starfire, locking her in a cold embrace of shadow. The other went under Raven and grabbed a single leg of the gorilla behind her, dragging him sideways and causing him to release her. He was hurled through the air only to crash into Starfire. The two went flying and fell to the ground, unable to move.

"No! Raven!" Robin's piercing shout ripped through the air and suddenly a blur of color flew before her, landing as Robin with a birdarang in one hand. "Raven! Don't do this!"

"The whole 'pleading for mercy' thing has gotten really old, Bird Boy." Raven stared at him, one hand turning black and glowing threateningly.

"Last chance Raven. We don't want to fight you."

"Too bad."

Robin threw himself forward, tossing the birdarang aside and pulling out his pole(I dunno what the thingy's called... 0.o) and hurled it towards her. There was a metallic clash as it hit her black shield, her hands moving to block every one of his blows. A malicious gleam was in Raven's eye.

"This seems familiar, doesn't it Robin? You know my weaknesses, why not use them?"

"You're not Raven, remember? You're Rose and it seems Rose has different issues."

Raven hissed in delight as she blocked a thrust of the pole, reaching out swiftly to touch it and causing it to glow black. It ripped from Robin's hands and hit him smartly on the head.

"How did that go? Oh yes..." Raven took up a high-pitched mimicking sound. _"Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting your-"_

The metal man ripped form nowhere, plunging into Raven and sending her flying, her grip on robin's pole destroyed. "Rae come on! I know you're in there!"

"Sorry Cyborg. Bird Boy already said I had my last chance."

Cyborg growled and moved in closer, his cannon erupting from his usual arm. "Don't make me do this."

Raven glanced away from Cyborg to where she had last seen Red.

No.

Red laid upon the ground, his hand over his stomach rolling in agony. A fire erupted within her, stronger than any other before. A fire of love and hatred, anger and passion. Her eyes began to glow with a heat, changing color from the violet to red and another set of eyes appearing atop her normal two.

"No!" Her scream was like a hiss and within moments Cyborg's entire body was encrusted with a black covering. Cyborg let out a strangled yell as the black formed into two claws, each one digging into him in an attempt it seemed to rip him into two. Cyborg's teeth were bared, his eyes shut tightly.

"Raven! Stop!" There was a thrust and Raven felt the pole hit her directly in the chest, knocking the breath from her and causing her to fall to the ground. With a wearied moan Cyborg did the same with a heavier crash but did not move.

Robin stood over her. She could feel the sorrow in his mind, see the emotion upon his face. "Why Raven? Why did you do this?"

The fire overwhelmed her once more and waved her hand swiftly, a black sweep sending Robin crashing through the glass of a store and into the wall. It was the same store Red and Rose had robbed for clothing, Raven noticed through her haze of hatred.

She stepped through the shards of glass that littered the floor, her uneven breath forgotten as she stared at Robin with a lust never felt before by her. A lust for death, for power, for murder. She felt the power swell through her veins, black energy welling around her in an aura of shadow, her hair flying around her face and her eyes glowing a hateful red. Robin's eyes were wide with fear.

He had crashed into a mirror, the very mirror Rose had looked into to see her reflection for the first time. But Raven didn't see the mirror. She only saw Robin. She only saw her hand move to lift a huge and heavy desk from the ground, lifting it and holding it in the air above him. She could only see his face.

It was amazing how much someone could see through a mask. It was amazing the emotions portrayed upon his face. The defeat, the utter defeat. The horror, the sorrow, the final despair. There wasn't an ounce left in him to fight.

Never before had Raven seen him like this. Even when the world had ended Robin had fought. And no he stared up at her with such a look of defeat Raven blinked and looked away.

But where she looked next was no better. The mirror had a single crack running up it and yet it still portrayed horrors. For she did not see the outfit she felt against her body. A red cloak fell to the ground at her feet, a hood lowered to see the horrific face behind it. Four crimson eyes stared out from a pale ashen face, locks of black falling around that face with only two streaks a different color. Streaks blood red.

And behind her reflection was Red. His mask had been ripped into pieces and Raven could see his eye and part of his hair, his lips opened just slightly in a look of absolute horror, eyes widened with the same sense of dread that overwhelmed Robin.

And behind him she could see into the street. She could see Cyborg stirring and Starfire helping Beast Boy stand. Had Raven once supported the green transformer as the alien did? Had Raven once watched Starfire shed tears and been the one to reluctantly tell her it was okay? Had raven once been the one to help the mechanical man fix what he had broken?

Had Raven once seen the feelings of the Titans when another girl held a rock above Robin's head as she did now and smashed it into his body as she was about to do?

_Do it._

Raven bit her lip, fighting the eyes that stared from the mirror.

"No..."

_DO IT!_

"No..."

_KILL HIM!_

"NO!"

Raven screamed as the desk burst into a thousand pieces, showering over them all. She could feel her body taking the form of a raven but all else was blurred by tears.

* * *

_Don't make me listen to the screaming..._

_'Cause I can already taste their tears_

_Don't make me take this empty torment_

_I've been fighting it already for so many years..._

_I've been wandering and I'm lost_

_Like a ship in stormy seas_

_And I break away just to find myself_

_Crawling on my kness_

_I am afraid of what is yet to come_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_I can see my empty heart_

_Ascold assnowy skies..._

_Catch me as I fall, _

_Just reach out and touch my hand_

_'Cause I fear I've already lost_

_Whatever things I had..._

_Don't forget about me_

_When your wandering begins_

_And don'tyou lose youself_

_Like I so wrongly did_

_I'm still standing here, _

_With my eyes upon the shore_

_I'm still standing here..._

_With my heart empty and yet so sore_

_Don't forget about me, _

_But please don't leave me behind_

_I don't want hear their empty screams_

_One more time..._

* * *

OOC: tears Aww...I actually liked that poem. I hope you all don't mind me putting in my own poetry, Let me know so I know not to do it for the last chapters and on other stories...


	9. Softly Spoken

**OOC: Tis drama, poetry, battle and love in one single chapter...possibly the best one yet. But I'm not adding that last chapter until I have AT LEAST 15 reviews- so please, if you read it, review it. **

**I'm going to advertise for my other story to-Twisted Truth:**

Mirage is everything Raven wanted in a friend, quiet and deadly, mysterious, yet she understands Raven instantly. Its as if every time Raven stares into her pale face she sees her own reflection. Meanwhile the other Titans become fond of Mirage's twin brother- Logan, a perfect guy- courageous, handsome, friendly, funny. Two opposite sides of the same coin, the twins hold and air of mystery and strength no one can place. But when things begin to happen in the Tower, things that cause friendships to fall apart and love to become just a memory- Raven learns a lesson that could rip out her soul and allow somethingmuch worse to take its place- The Truth is just as decieving as the Lie.

**Disclaimer: No I do not own Raven, Red X, the emotion 'anger' or any Titans. But I do own the emotion anger's new face, Red, and the pole Raven used to wrap Beast Boy in. **

**And now onto the story!**

* * *

Raven didn't know where she was going. She could feel the cool wind as she glided through it, ruffling her hair and causing it to fly back against her head, her eyes closed still as she sobbed. She cried, tears trickling down her face as she cried for herself, for Red, for Robin, for Rose. 

Hard cold ground hit her knees as she fell in a pile in Red's apartment, the lights all off and abandoned completely. Why had she come here? To get her bag? To run, to leave- to go away forever?

That was it. Through the tears Raven reached for her bag and held it close, licking her finger and attempting to scrub away the small rose between her eyes. It wouldn't rub away.

The tears started up again as Raven slumped against the couch, her legs cold on the freezing ground. Her hands seemed to move on their own as she suddenly pulled out a cool hard objet from her bag. Blinking a few moments to clear the tears, she looked down to see what it was- and gasped.

She held her reflection in her hands.

She dropped the mirror and slid it away where I began to shake- two pairs of gleaming red eyes appearing within the glassy depths. Raven bit her lip and stared at it in horror.

_Raven..._

"No...no..."

_Raven..._

"No..go away..."

_Raven...why do you cry?_

Raven bit her lip as she felt the tears running down her face and attempted to stop them.

"Leave me alone...go away..."

_Raven, you know I can't do that...I'm part of you, you know._

"No! You're not real!"

_I'm as real as that mirror on the ground in front of you. I am Rose, Raven..I am that mischievous growing hate that fills your heart. I am what controls you..._

"You're not real!"

_Not real? Not real- of course I am foolish girl. Get that through your head. I am as real as you for I am you! I am the part of you people adore, the emotional, the strong, the fierce and fiery. I am the one who got you to where you are and you foolish wench let it all die the moment you looked into the mirror!_

"No!"

_Yes. Raven, don't you remember that power that flooded through you? That uncontrollable pulsing power...how strong it was, remember that Raven? Remember the feeling of ecstasy as it entered your body? Oh, I remember..._

Raven began to cry again before attempting to stifle her tears. She slid away again until her back was against the couch. "No...you're not real..."

She closed her eyes and crossed her legs before murmuring softly into the room. "Azarath Metreon Zinthos..."

_Mirror, mirror on the wall-_

_Come on in my dear.._

_I can sense your growing hate, _

_I feed upon your fear..._

Mocking her...mocking her so evilly, with such a burning hatred in her voice that Raven fought to supress a shudder. Yet still it escaped her and she closed her eyes, fighting the tears that hit her again. She barely ever cried, and suddenly she cried non-stop?

"No...please...go away.."

Raven was so tired...she just wanted to sleep...sleep seemed so nice right now...her head began to slide onto her shoulder as the tears instantly dried...

_Mirror, mirror in your hand-_

_How evil are those eyes!_

_For crimson stains of darkened blood_

_Stare at you from where they lie..._

That voice again, that damned voice! Raven's eyes snapped open for suddenly she was awake again. She bit her lip and her eyes flashed, the lightbulb smashing into pieces with a bolt of black light. "I will defy you! Hear me? I WILL!"

Raven shouted and stood up, making a sharp gesture as a bolt of black swept form her fingers in a slicing blow to slice the mirror. But a shield of black appeared and the mirror came form a cloud of dust unscathed.

_Letting your emotions get the best of you?_

Raven gasped and slid back down to her feet. What had she done..what had she done...oh what if someone had been hurt...what would she do...she hurt Robin...she hurt the Titans...she hurt Red...she felt so guilty...

"Please...make it all go away.."

Suddenly voices swarmed her mind, voices yelling and arguing, crying and screaming, such chaos, such pain..Argh! Raven threw her hands over her ears and began to rock.

_Mirror, mirror, mirror child..._

"No.."

_Tell me what you see..._

"Please no..."

_Do you see four crimson eyes?_

"Red...Robin..help me..."

_Or do you only see me?_

Raven snapped.

Her emotions began to weave through her like a flurry of icy blue power- sorrow retching through her soul as she began to cry blue tears large enough to drown herself in, before guilt flooded through her once more- then exhaustion and bravery and jealousy and ecstasy and then...

Anger.

The worst of all and Raven fought it- she fought it as desperately as possible, the gleaming red fire, trying so hard to enter her veins... Raven screamed in fursy as she fought, lamps shattering and the couch hurled at the wall.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

_Yes, Raven. Yes. Come on in, please...oh please come on in my friend. We have so much catching up to do..._

"No!"

_Afraid Raven? Perhaps some bravery and determination will fix that..._

Afraid? She wasn't afraid! Raven could do anything! She could beat this stupid red bitch in her head, she had before? Why was this any different? Raven easily reached out for the mirror but something stopped her- suddenly a black shadow smacked her hard against the wall and made her moan in pain.

_Still afraid, Raven? I would have thought you would fight for your friends... I would have thought you'd fight for the Titans...I thought you would fight for Red._

Raven suddenly went numb as the mirror hissed words at her.

_You love him, don't you Raven? The problem is, I love him too. And who does he love? He loves Rose, Raven...Come now, won't you fight for his love?_

Raven stood up again.

But this time she was different.

For a black aura swirled around her, hiding her from view and fading into her surroundings, leaving her different. Her hair was the same yes but that accursed rose was gone and the red jewel back in place. Her long cloak swept to the ground and her tight outfit was back. The only difference was the blue rose necklace about her neck.

She said nothing. There was nothing that needed to be said. For she stepped forward and picked up the mirror, staring with emotionless eyes int the four narrowed slits that stared back. A black claw reached from the mirror to grab her but with a sweep of her hand it fell back. For instead the mirror hovered in the air before her and a pair of white steps descended. The mirror widened to the size of a door and Raven mounted the steps and entered the doorway, never looking back as she entered her own mind.

* * *

"Where is she?" Starfire helped Robin to her feet, soothing him to calm him but robin had nothing of it. 

"Dude..she almost killed you.." Beast Boy's voice was a hushed whisper. Raven couldn't betray them..he knew it deep down in his wires that she was a good person and she cared about them.

"But she didn't! Terra tried to and she came back, she turned good! Raven didn't and she's not evil! She's not like him!" Robin pointed furiously to Red.

Red had stood there, staring at a piece of glass shard in his hand, staring at it and seeming as if unaware of the Titans. His cloak billowed around him as he stared down at that glass shard thinking of what he had just seen in the reflection.

Slowly, as if coming out of a dream, Red raised his head to look at them- look at the Titans- Star who held Robin up, Beast Boy, standing partially in front of them all with defience in his eyes- Cyborg, standing in the back and staring at him with an odd look.

Beast Boy loves her- Red realized. It was in his eyes, the way he so disliked Red that Raven had loved the villain. He loved Raven like a sister, perhaps more. Perhaps this green boy loved Raven as he did.

Starfire wants toknow her- The alien's eyes were slightly red from tears and filled with such a deep sorrow...still she was beautiful. Still Red saw in her the beauty he had seen to begin with. But there was another face he loved more, saw more beauty in. But was the face the one he truly understood?

Robin cares for her- The proud fury, the denial to the fact Raven had almost killed him, replacing that look of defeat he had just worn. The determination- Robin wanted Raven back. Robin thought he understood Raven, thought her knew her best. But no, Red knew her best. And even Red was startled by her.

Cyborg understands her better than them all- The mechanical man is like her in many ways. He cares about her like them all but she is like a sister to him. For Red looked into his single human eye and saw understanding there, saw that Cyborg understood Red, that the mechanical man knew what it was like to love one who you weren't supposed to care for. He saw in those eyes slight warmth that reminded him so much of Raven, how deep within her icy exterior lied a warm beating passion, a passion that Red had found and Red had embraced.

"Come with me. I know where she is."

"Go with you! Hello? You're a VILLAIN!"

Cyborg stepped forward and murmured somehting in Robin's ear, the Boy Wonder's eyes narrowed in mistrust.

After a long moment he nodded slightly and Starfire's eyes widened in surprise. Cyborg stepped forward, close enough to touch Red and the small boy was overshadowed by his prescence.

"We're in this together." Cyborg held out his hand. "We both care for Raven. We all want what's best for her, and if you care for her how I think you do, you want the same."

Red stared at the hand and then up into Cyborg's eyes in amazement. _He understands..he truly understands..._

He took the hand and gave a handshake of agreement. "I care for her more than you can imagine."

Cyborg nodded.

"I think I can imagine."

* * *

Raven opened her eyes. 

The black and red planes came into view, the small black birds resting on a dead tree in front of her. In the distance stood Rose.

She was Rose, for her hair had been dyed black but with the bangs highlighted red. A red cloak swept about her body, the outline of a rose painted between the four eyes and the replica of a glass rose- this one red, around her neck.

_Hello Raven._

Suddenly other figures appeared behind Raven, other figures wearing cloaks of different colors- each one landing behind and around Rose. Suddenly Raven realized why her emotions had been strange.

"What are you doing? You all can't be supporting her!"

One in a green cloak stepped forward. "She's given us power. We're all sick of just sitting here and with her in charge...we can have a say in what happens and she won't destroy the world because of it. She can control emotions..."

"No, you can't do that..." Raven fought for words as she stared in astonishment at them. They were uniting against her?

_You see, Raven...I have the power_. Rose raised an arm and suddenly the other emotions began to whirl about her until absorbed into her body. Rose grew brighter, red light flickering around those bloodied eyes and malice running through her grinning teeth.

_I am Rose. I am the one who Red loves.._

Raven gritted her teeth to keep control and to keep herself steady.

Rose laughed at her. _Come now, Raven. You couldn't have really thought he loved you? I am the things that made you leave the Tower..and slowly, slowly I gained support from the others within this plane. Why do you think you were unable to move when that man attacked you? Fear and Timid are quite strong when they try to be..I was going to have anger sweep through you and save your skin but, oh no..something so much better came along._

_Imagine my happiness when I saw Red there! A chance to become a Villain- perfect for us both. And slowly I began to change you...slowly you acted less and less like yourself and more and more like me until today when you were almost complete. For Raven, honestly would you have accepted his offer? Oh, and I had you! I had you in my grasp! The slightest action today and you would have been mine...But no, you still _love_ the Titans...you still_ adore_ them..._

_You won't when I'm through with you._

Raven looked at Rose and allowed a grim smile to cross her lips, one of grim amusement. "Well Rose, we aren't as similar as I thought. I would never give a monolog." (-cough-)

Rose smiled, her smile gleaming with satisfaction. "Are you sure about that?"

"Quite."

Rose nodded and made a sharp gesture with her hand. A beam of red began to fire at Raven and within moments a black form of a raven had taken flight.

The battle of Rose and Raven had begun.

* * *

"No..." 

Whose voice it was, no one was sure. But when the Titans and Red entered the apartment to see her bag still there and the mirror lying on the cold hard ground, they all thought the same thing.

Raven was in danger.

For Beast Boy and Cyborg knew very well what danger lie in Raven's mind- they had looked upon Trigon and had felt his fury. Robin and Starfire, though never going into her mind, though Raven had been in Robin's, understood the peril she faced every night.

Most likely it was Red who said this. For he had looked into the reflection and seen the red-eyes monster staring back at him. No one else had seen that. He had seen the hideous creature within and upon seeing the four red eyes staring from the mirror, he recognized them immediately.

Robin stepped forward as if to touch the mirror but suddenly a bolt of black shot from the red eyes and zapped him, making him pull his hand away.

"Raven doesn't want us in..." Cyborg's voice broke the silence.

"Are you kidding me?" Beast Boy freaked out. "We have to help her! She's gone into her mind and there's really bad stuff in there!"

"We can't. This is her own battle." Cyborg could easily hear the defeat in Red's voice.

"We're her friends! You may not want to help her but we do!"

Red turned on the green boy. "Not help her? How dare you! I have appreciated Raven more than you have, I have sheltered her and given her what she wants- power! Not once did I hurt her in any way- for I never questioned her ways or insulted her actions. I found her true self and embraced it! Not like you, who shoved it away."

"You mean you appreciated that red thing in her. You only like her for a villain, not for who she is!" Beast Boy sneered at him. "We loved her, we cared about her, she belongs with us!"

Red lunged at Beast Boy and Beast Boy threw himself at red. It took Cyborg holding Red back and Starfire holding Beast Boy with Robin the middle to keep them apart.

"We all care about her, alright? We need to help raven, remember! And we need to help her now!"

Red stared at Cyborg for a long moment before shaking off his arm.

"How well do you know Raven? Well enough to realize what she will do for others? Oh, I know the tales of what she has done- many of them she told me herself. She is a good person, yes, but she is not perfect. She became a Villain and it was easy for her. But I know Raven well. I can see that this is a battle she will fight on her own."

The word 'battle' hit them all suddenly.

"Battle?" Starfire's eyes were fearful as she stared at Red. "Raven is performing a war within her mind?"

"Raven is fighting her own demons. We can only wait to see who is victorious..."

They all grew quiet for a long time. Red slid into a chair and let his head drop into his hands- Starfire and Robin fell onto the couch and Starfire's crimson hair fell onto his shoulder as she rested her head upon him. Cyborg leaned against a wall and Beast Boy stared at the ground, his back against the door as if preparing to flee.

_Its going to be a long day._... Red thought sadly to himself as he stared at the mirror lying on the floor and staring at them maliciously.

_(OOC: Now here's when the drama really starts...)_

* * *

_A single rose, _

_A tearing thorn_

_Deadly in it's beauty- _

_Well aware of what it's torn._

The red bolt struck Raven full in the chest and she fell to the ground, landing on her side as she wheezed for breath, coughing the dust from her lungs as she struggled. After a long moment she stood and faced Rose again.

_Meanwhile I am in shadow_

_Trapped drowning in my tears-_

_Raven why do you continue to stand? You know I will beat you in the end..._

Her voice...so mocking...so mocking... For as Raven stared at that red-cloaked girl, her red eyes gleaming maliciously, she felt the fire burn in her heart and knew where it came from. Desperately she clung to reality- clung to the image of those red eyes for as horrifying as they were, they were reality and they were the most real thing in this world. Fear is real. And fear was what kept her holding on, kept ehr from letting go into the flame of alternate reality, the flame of her downfall. For as long as she'd fear, she wouldn't lose control.

_Screaming at my demons,_

_Fighting against my greatest fear-_

Rose smiled slightly, her toothy grin visible from under the shadow of the hood. She began to approach Raven, gliding across the earth without taking a single step.

_Give up, Raven.._

Raven hissed at her and threw a wave of energy at the figure, taking the shape of a black X and striking Rose full in the chest, where she stumbled for a moment before straightening.

_You're in my world._

Raven closed her eyes and opened them immediately, staring at Rose and beating down the fire. For suddenly the blue rose around her neck had begun to glow-

Rose's red rose glowed as well until it unattached itself from her neck and the blue around Raven's did the same. They flew up into the air and began to melt into one another, fusing and taking shape until molting into a single shade of violet and falling to the ground gently.

_And as I gaze upon that rose_

_I see its darkened blood_

_And I know very well_

_When I wake my eyes will be shut_

Violet. The color of the hair streaming about Raven's face, the color of her eyes, her icy unkind eyes that could change so quickly. The mix of blue, her own color- her icy wall she had shielded herself with, and red, the flame that could melt it.

Raven lunged- Rose lunged. And they fought.

They fought with a fury few would ever see. They fought with a passion as the violet rose gleamed and glowed, urging them on in turn and spiting insults and harsh words as well. Hatred burned in Rose and passion burned in Raven- loved against hatred and emotions versus ice. Every blow Raven made Rose countered. Every attack Rose tried Raven blocked. They were evenly matched for a long time before Raven began to weary...

For she was one person and Rose was many. She had the power of herself but Rose had the power of others. Raven began to tire and it was then that she fell to the ground as a red raven shot towards her and bound her in its grasp.

Raven gasped and slumped forward.

_A single rose, _

_A tearing thorn_

_Deadly in it's beauty- _

_Well aware of what it's torn._

_Meanwhile I am in shadow_

_Trapped drowning in my tears-_

_Screaming at my demons,_

_Fighting against my greatest fear-_

_And as I gaze upon that rose_

_I see its darkened blood_

_And I know very well_

_When I wake my eyes will be shut._

_Yes Raven...fall onto your knees. This is pointless and you know...you know that no matter how hard you fight- you cannot defeat yourself. For that's all your doing Raven, fighting yourself. Look at the rose. Look at how it mocks you, mocks me. We are one but I am stronger. For I am the passion burning in you- you are the weak. Bow to me, Raven. Bow to me for I am better than you._

Raven didn't fight it..Oh, she wanted to sleep...wanted to sleep forever. She would be willing to give in to Rose if it ended this torture. For a moment she thought of Red and it only made her more tired..

_Reach out to me, my dear_

_Grab onto me in you can,_

_I'm dying for love, my dear-_

_I'm running as fast as I can._

* * *

Red bit his lip as he stared at the mirror...for he could see Raven there- was it the trick of his eye? Could he truly see Raven fallen to her knees upon an unearthly plain where a malicious figure stood over her... "No.." he murmured. 

The others looked up at him but he made no notice. For they in turn looked into the mirror and they in turn gasped or murmured their own deficience to belief.

_Hide me from that rose_

_Hide me from its deadly touch_

_Hide me from that thorn-_

_From that angry hating rush._

_I can't hold on much more_

_Your fingers are sliding from mine_

_Grab onto me, my dear_

_And hold me as I let go and die..._

_This is the end..._Raven thought, as she stared into those merciless eyes. _I will die here_._ Rose will become me. _But Raven could not find strength within her to battle it. She wanted to give up, she wanted to quit.

Suddenly a voice began to sing to her, a soft lulling voice so calm and so gentle that Raven could have fallen asleep to it...But the words...The words touched her so deeply that the image of red eyes disappeared and was replaced by another- an image that rekindled the flame in her heart.

This time the flame was not a danger. She could feel it burn with her, feel its warmth melting the glass and ice she had created around her heart.

Rose stepped over her and smiled. _Good-bye Raven._

Raven closed her eyes and let the song wash through her. For it was the song she had heard as a child, as a poor and cursed child by a woman she had called mother and by people she had dared to call family. And as she stared up at Rose, only one word escaped her mouth.

"Home_..."_

_**Raven's Lullaby-**_

_Remember me, my child_

_Hold forever in your heart_

_The icy fear, the saddened day_

_The angered, hateful start..._

_Do not forget, my darling_

_My child, my precious dear_

_For I won't forget your beating heart_

_Or saddened eyes of tears._

_Raven, oh my Raven_

_Such a curse you have to bear..._

_To feel no sorrow, feel not pain_

_Nor joy, or anger or fear._

_And as you fight your shadow_

_As you wage war in your mind_

_Remember your life is yours to control_

_As are the horrors in your mind._

_Remember me, sweet Raven-_

_Hold me deeply in your heart..._

_And do not forget the angered hate_

_The sad, the joyful starts..._

_

* * *

_

_(One more chapter left folks...hang in there... It'll all be over with soon... After 15 reviews or more! More reviews, the better the next chapter.)_


	10. To Heal What Was Never Whole

OOC:

Hello all- I'm glad you're readint his last chapter. I really like this story, and it got quite deep in the last few chapters,s oemthing always fun to portray in Raven... I love you all, its so cool to have readers.. Don't forget completely about me, read some of my other stories. My one about Harry potter is very promising, I have a thick plot set up, and it has a similar voice to this one.

I always find it funny when readers guess the ending, and congrats Katie, you guessed it. I won't give it away, but yes, that's part of it.

I lurve you all, as my dear friends would say. Don't forget me, and don't be all afraid to contact me. Obvisouly, I am a computer junkie, so I'm on pretty often.

Well, here's the story you want so badly, hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, nor Raven. If I did, the new episodes would not be like they are now..>.>

* * *

Raven's eyes fluttered, the song ringing through her mind... 

_Raven, oh my Raven_

_Such a curse you have to bear..._

_To feel no sorrow, feel not pain_

_Nor joy, or anger or fear._

_And as you fight your shadow_

_As you wage war in your mind_

_Remember your life is yours to control_

_As are the horrors in your mind._

Memories surged through, memories of a woman in white, pale robes floating about her body even as dark hair in shades almost its counterpart glimmered in eerie light. The soft, sad smile as she looked down upon Raven, as if seeing her own daughter was a horrible thing to do.

"_Mommy?"_

"_Raven, please go back to your mentors..."_

"_But Mommy, I want to play!"_

"_Raven, not today. I am too tired."_

_The young girl's face creased with unhappiness, as two small dark balls began to spin around her head. "Please?"_

"_No Raven.."_

_Raven burst out into tears. The lights all over suddenly burst, black vines streaming from her body and attacking everything in sight, demolishing furniture, exploding walls- suddenly everything around her began to fall apart._

_Two monks rushed in, one reaching out to touch her back with a free hand, to knock her out into unconsciousness._

_The last sight Raven could see was her mother turning away, as if afraid of looking upon her daughter. _

Blood.

All she had known her entire life was blood. Deaths because of her, tears shed- all because of her. People died by her hands, Azarath was destroyed because of her.

Her mother shuddered every time she looked at her.

The red blast struck Raven full in the chest, searing pain overwhelming her as she shook furiously, tears streaming down her face, escaping closed eyes.

_And as you fight your shadow_

_As you wage war in your mind_

_Remember your life is yours to control_

_As are the horrors in your mind._

Suddenly white light surged through her, causing her to open her eyes in the brilliance of them, blinded by their fury. Her eyes reflected the power and suddenly the crimson pain disappeared.

_You fool! What are you doing?_

Rose's voice hissed around Raven, and slowly, painfully, the blinded absence of design faded to colors and shapes.

A girl stood before her.

With her cloak a soft shade of cream, she knew instantly who the girl was.

Love.

The way she stood spoke of everything but that care that came with love. Her eyes glowed in a peachy shade, and with one hand she blocked the crimson red.

Raven looked to Rose- seeing anger and fury written all over her face. Yet in one moment, the faces shifted, and Raven could see many different colors.

The rose glowed threateningly on the ground.

_I cannot ignore it. I didn't realize Raven was capable of such feeling..such passion as I am to represent... Her heart seems warmer than ever before. And you saw the image that appeared, you heard her mother's voice. Raven feels emotion._

The girl turned to Raven and reached out a hand, pulling her to her feet. Raven gasped as pain shot through her chest, and doubled over as it spread through her veins like fire. Suddenly there was another burst of red light as Rose tried to attack them, but this emotion held back the fire.

_Raven, the only way you will survive this is to feel. Feel the emotions you harbor, and release them. You can only defy that which you accept. You can only truly hate what you understand_.

Closing her eyes, Raven bit back the tears once more... "I can't.."

_You already are...just let go Raven. Let go..._

Raven began to sob harder, the tears choking her. She sank farther away from the battle and into a new image. She could see a dark empty pit, hands reaching up for her as if to snatch her away forever. Yet far below the hands, she could see a light.

_Remember me, sweet Raven-_

_Hold me deeply in your heart..._

_And do not forget the angered hate_

_The sad, the joyful starts..._

She shied away from the hands, fearing their icy touch, the way their bony fingers seemed to spell death. Yet the light grew and Raven closed her eyes.

_Raven...think of Red...think of your mother...think of your friends.._

_Think of those you care about.._

The words struck home, as Raven felt herself throw open her eyes once more, to dive into the pit of hands.

They snatched at her, ripped her clothing to shreds, yanked at her hair and pulled parts out. They clawed at her, slashing her skin, but she saw the light. Through the pain and fury, through the suffering, she saw the light.

The light began to drown her, so much that she felt her eyes glow with that white radiance once more.

Rose stood before her, and Love beside her. Standing, she closed her eyes. Her naked body bore the wounds of the hands, and her hair was chopped into jagged pieces.

There was a white glow around her.

"Is this how you are now?" Thundered Raven at Rose, speaking not to the red girl, but to those within her, those who had joined her in one being. "You stand against me?"

_Don't you see?_ The emotion beside her asked them. Raven could see the passion burning in her soul, and now she could see perfectly where it came from. She suddenly understood why mothers would die for their children, why Raven would die for her friends. It was the emotion like Love, the way it was so strong it could fire her veins, and swell to a horrifying measure. In a lot of ways, love was stronger than all other emotions.

_Raven can still feel. She can feel emotions and she _does. _She has not forgotten any of you...she is one of you._

The power around Raven grew. She could see it all, see herself as a Titan, one of the few times she smiled. See the time she sat next to Cyborg, grinning widely at him. The time she had collapsed into Beast Boy's arms when the harsh words of a dragon lingered in her mind. The time she had meditated with Starfire, their voices melting together like a perfect harmony. The time she had stood staring at Robin, looking straight through his mask and seeing into the mind she had once traveled.

The time she had been held in Red's embrace, melting in his sweet kiss.

Sorrow was the first to strike, such horrible pity and sorrow towards herself, towards her actions. Towards the losses in her life. Towards her mother. Sweeping, frosting the icy barrier she had created, as if in an attempt to rekindle it, to once again block Raven's heart form the pain that could so easily break it.

But that warm glow, reassuring in her chest held the ice at bay, held it from coating her heart once more. The sorrow pierced her like needles, the tears matching flooding her cheeks, but she did not close herself once more.

Each emotion raged upon her, testing her, hurling every bit of their feeling they could. Each time Raven fought at first but slowly sank into acceptance. Each time they joined her and each time Rose screamed her defiance, shrieked her rage at losing power. Before long, nearly every emotion stood beside Raven, blocking the attacks so that Raven could recover from the pain they had dealt.

_And as you fight your shadow_

_As you wage war in your mind_

_Remember your life is yours to control_

_As are the horrors in your mind._

Raven slowly stood, feeling the presences of the other emotions around her. Slowly she straightened and stared at Rose for a long time.

"Let go of your hold on me, Rose."

_Let go? How? I am you, Raven! I am you! Rose and Raven are one! Why did you choose the name Rose? Roses are never purple or blue. They are red, the color of your hate, the color of you! Embrace it, Raven! You are hate! Rage and hatred flow through your blood as much as they flow through mine._

"You're words mean nothing."

_Nothing, you dare say to me? You cannot forget why you are where you are! You cannot forget that it was I who made Red love you! It was I who gave you the power you always wanted! Me! _

_Remember your life is yours to control_

_As are the horrors in your mind._

Raven closed her icy blue eyes, turning her gaze to her counterpart. Softly, words slipped out, and the last of her icy exterior melted, revealing her true soul. The flame that burned began to glow as she spoke, engulfing her, causing the rose to glow with such a fierce radiance in the same shade, as if supporting her.

"No," Raven replied softly. "It was the power you always wanted."

Rose screamed and lunged forward, as if in one last attempt to destroy Raven. Holding out both hands, she struck Rose full in the chest with those beams of white, striking crimson bolts firmly and destroying them within moments. Raven had learned once what it was to be whole, how to defeat the hatred she must use her whole body.

Rose fell to the ground, a simple red cloak, empty of a body. But slowly, it faded away, as if disappearing into the night and into the shadows.

The other emotions slowly faded away as well, and Raven was left alone, standing on the barren wasteland.

Suddenly the icy barrier began to create itself once more, trapping the flame as if desperate to protect it, as if upon revealing ti she was even more protective.

Yet before all the emotion was trapped within her, she felt her heart burst. Falling to the ground, she began to cry, tears streaking down her face as she cried silently, unmoving, tears that would never reach the real world.

_I'll close my eyes_

_To fight away the sight_

_I'll pray to God_

_For strength this lonely night_

_But who do I pray to?_

_Who do I call?_

_Not the force far above me,_

_But the force I just saw_

_Close my eyes_

_Let stream the tears_

_I've held them in far too long_

_Too many months and years_

_I see it now,_

_I see what you see_

_The monster I so feared,_

_Was no one but me_

_I can fight away the laughter_

_I can scream away the pain_

_But I know inside my heart_

_Things will never be the same.._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Red stared into the mirror, seeing her image fade away as if suddenly clouded by mist. The song wound around him, hearing a beautiful voice singing it, as if Hope herself had sprung upon them, singing for them the song of hopelessness. But why? Why would such a creature bring the wonderful feeling- Raven was alive! She fought! And yet, in that same moment the hope was wrenched away, to be replaced by despair, as he saw the girl fall.

He could see her eyes. He could see the despair and the hopelessness in their deep icy orbs.

Then she faded away.

Red bowed his head, his breaths coming out silent, as if he willed himself not to breathe. How could Raven survive that?

She could...he reminded himself. She was so powerful.

But so was what she was fighting.

Red couldn't hear what Rose and Raven was saying. He could see them fight, he could see Raven shout defiance and see Rose answer, but the words were eerily silent.

_Reach out to me, my dear_

_Grab onto me in you can,_

_I'm dying for love, my dear-_

_I'm running as fast as I can._

Slowly, the fog faded. Red lifted his eyes and stared at the mirror, feeling a pull towards the reflection, seeing behind it a moving image. A pale figure...surrounding by shadow, and..ice?

Starfire let out a soft gasp, Robin and the other boys swiftly looked up at the image.

As if nearing, walking on nothing but air, Raven entered. Though the mirror never widened, and it seemed that Raven never shrank, she came through the mirror slowly, walking, not floating, as if the walk was her last.

Her eyes were downcast, he could see the streaks from her tears. The shadows darting around her naked body were echoed by streaks of light. And slowly, they twisted and combined, to create a soft cloak, seemingly made of out light and shadow themselves, melting over her body to create the leotard she always wore. Red light gleamed to create the jewels upon her hand, and another touched her forehead. The scratches and horrible rips she bore were slowly dissolved, replaced by milky smooth skin, partially hidden in shadow, partially glowing in light.

It seemed as if the very light from her eyes gleamed, the deep blue shade, glowing until forming a deep radiance of blue, forming a cloak and resting over her shoulders, warmth when she needed it most.

Slowly, Raven lifted her eyes to them, looking at them for a long time. The icy cold stare was empty, void of all emotion, even more than usual. But the thing hanging around Raven's neck was what truly astonished him, more than anything.

Around her neck was a violet rose.

"Raven.."

Red didn't know who said it, but he stepped towards her the quickest. He embraced her and felt her head drop on to his shoulder. "Raven, I'm so glad you're safe.."

Raven did not cry. She had been empty of tears for the longest time, and her voice held no emotion still, the same dry tone. "I know...I didn't think I would be, but I am now.."

Red moved away from her, staring at her in mild astonishment. "Raven, what happened?"

Raven didn't look at him, but instead turned her gaze towards the Titans They stood there, gazing at her with a mix of pity and concern, hope and fear. It was a mix Raven usually hated. But nothing, no emotion could make her feel right now. Nothing.

"Raven..." Red murmured to her. "If you want to go with them, I won't stop you.."

Raven looked up at him, gazing at him for such a long time. It hurt Red, to look at such deep eyes as they were so empty. It frightened him, and it hurt him.

"Red, I swore to you Rose would never leave your side."

Red shook his head. "You're not Rose, you're Raven. I should have seen it-"

Raven cut him off. "No." With a deep breath she continued.

"Rose is me. I didn't understand that before now. She is the part of me you fell in love with, but she is me. We are one, just as every other emotion is a part of me." She blinked slowly, the eyes still empty. "Rose taught me that I can't always hide behind my walls. Something will always get by them, and it will hurt more then than if I never had the walls to begin with."

She blinked again, and when she opened them Red could see slight depth returning to her eyes. "I...I don't know when I can feel again, Red. I felt safe behind my walls, and now.." She shook her head, looking at the Titans once more. "They understand me. They know me for the part of me that is seen most often. You have seen the darkest depths of me..I don't want to be judged by only that.."

Red nodded, taking one gloved hand and lifting her chin to look at her. "I have always loved you, Raven. I always will."

Raven's face tightened and she reached up a trembling arm to snap the necklace from her neck. She held it out to him, hand still shaking. "Rose will never leave you."

His hand touched hers as he took it. Oh how she longed to look into his brown eyes, not the dark holes his mask created. Yet she stepped away, pulling her hands into the depth of her cloak. She couldn't be so close to him again, it would only make leaving so much harder..

Red looked at her and spoke so softly, so that the Titans couldn't hear. "I don't understand Raven.."

Raven looked away. "I don't either...I don't think I ever will."

Slowly, she turned her back on him, and to the Titans, to her old home, and to the old memories that came with it.

- - - - - - -

_I swore to myself I would never come to this. How often I mocked Starfire when she spoke of a diary, telling her how foolish she was. Foolish indeed- to empty one's heart and soul to empty pages, only to be filled with one's most private and intricate thoughts. Feeble thoughts, useless pieces of information that at the time seem so important, yet in the grand scale of things mean nothing._

_How foolish to spill one's darkest secrets onto pages that could easily be read by a person of any nature. And thus, the thoughts that were meant to be private, else they would be heard by all, are lingering in the mind of at least one other beside the origin._

_To give other that ability- to know the darkest parts of me easily- I dread it so much. 'There are places in my mind no one should ever go,' I once told Robin. And now I find I am not even safe from those words._

_The only lingering comfort that I can give myself is a small spell, that if the book is opened by any other but myself, the words will be but blurs of shapes and symbols, unreadable._

_But there will always be someone else stronger than I, someone to destroy the spell. Someone to open the book at just the right moment, someone to have this book when the spell fades away. That someone may read these pages and know my darkest self, perhaps more than I understand it now._

_I dare not even address the page. Partially because I refuse to believe myself that this is a diary. But if someone stumbles upon this small black book, and opens it to see simply my small sharp slanted writing, curved in delicate words, they may not read, having no idea what it is. I would date the entry, but I know not the date._

_The days and nights have blurred together, reality and dream becoming one. It has been weeks since the incident, that I know, and though each Titan quickly offered an ear for me to speak to, I remain in my room, trapped in silence I created and think._

_The thoughts aren't always pleasant. They are memories, like I am forced to relive the moment constantly so that I may never let go of the feelings. But it is too late. The ice has come again..._

_How can I express what happened? The icy barrier returned, and I am afraid to melt it once more. It is all that protects the flame of my mind, and if I melt the wall, then will I simply open myself for more pain? They say I must feel in order to be, but if my feelings cause others to not exist, what is the point?_

_The scars are invisible, far within me. The hurt me every day and night, sometimes so badly I can do nothing else but lie on my bed and stare up into the ceiling. Yet even as it burns, it is a reassuring pain, reminding me of reality, and of what I went through. Just as I clung to the fearful image of Rose, I cling to this pain. For like the image, it keeps a barrier between reality and dream, between nightmare and life._

_The Titans fear me. Robin the most, for he saw the flame I cherish, burning in ways I never imagined. Yet he forgave me so quickly..._

_They all have, within days of my return. I can tell I have not yet earned their complete trust, but they are willing to try so hard._

_I can feel the hatred, burning in my veins against them, though now it is muffled. I realize that the hatred isn't truly mine, though it may belong to a part of me. I love them, and as long as I don't hate them as much as I did in that single moment when I left, I can keep control._

_None of them know what truly happened. Starfire may understand my true feelings about Red, and the way she acts around me supports that idea. But they don't know what happened in my mind. They don't know how close to death I was and how willing I was to give up life._

_I remember Rose standing above me. I was ready to die, ready to surrender to her completely. I could feel myself give up, feel hopelessness overwhelm me._

_Seems even in my own mind I cannot control what I think. For an image flashed through, like a movie in front of my eyes, filled with memorable touches, voices, feelings..._

_I saw the Titans._

_Of all people for me to see, I'd think it would be my mother, or Red. But I saw those faces, all reflecting the same happiness the memory reminded me of. I didn't see the mistrust I see now. I saw complete security and care for me._

_I left the Titans because they saw me as glass. And now I realize something, I was glass. I always have been. My heart, body, and mind are as fragile as that and that alone. I was broken, yet I had never been whole to begin with. I was shattered the moment I was born and I have never healed. Saying a part of me is missing would be a full lie, as I know very well where each piece lay. They are all on the ground, laying all around me as I sit, trying to refit the pieces together in the whole design they should create. But there are some pieces I am afraid to touch because of how sharp they are._

_I chose the Titans._

_Yet I can honestly say I have never loved one person as much as I loved Red. But I had loved the Titans as a whole just as much._

_No, the ley reason I chose them was because of Rose. I lost control to Rose so easily when I was with Red. I didn't care, and that scares me. I was willing to give it all away for a kiss, a dance, a thrill. Sp easy it was, for my walls of ice to collapse in love._

_I can control myself when I'm with the Titans. I don't have to fear the monster within me._

_Yet how can I forget either side? _

_Red's bright golden brown eyes. _

_The simple smile from Cyborg as he rests his mechanical hand on my shoulder reassuringly._

_The claps in delight the alien Starfire emits when she learns something new._

_The look of astonishment when I neatly demolish one of Beast Boy's corny jokes._

_Robin's arms around me, protecting me from the world._

_What am I to do?_

_I love Red, so much of a passion it hurts. You can imagine my feelings when I went on my first fight, only to see it was Red._

_No, not Red. Red X. I must learn to call him that, even though in my heart he will always be my Red._

_Stealing from a bank, what a surprise. There he was, black cloak billowing, skull mask facing me directly. At his neck, hanging over the ebon sheen of his uniform, hiding the sweet smile and laughing brown eyes from the world; around his neck hung my rose._

_Upon seeing me his hand instinctively reached up to touch the rose. The Titans watched in apprehension as I stared at him._

_The moment of truth. I could turn my back on the Titans and return to him._

_Instead I raised a hand and lowered the hood that hid me from the world, committing an action the Titans hadn't seen since I had returned._

_The wind brushed my cheek so gently- I remember it reminding me of his kiss. So gentle, so pure._

_Red, my Red, stared at me. I could feel his sorrow, his regret, his mourning. His voice, disguised by the changer, rough, uncaring, spoke a word lingering in my mind even now._

"_Raven."_

_And I replied, my own voice masked by lack of emotion._

"_Red."_

_Not Red X. Red. My Red._

"_Raven, shall we dance?"_

_The words held so many meanings and I inclined my head, knowing what meaning we both saw. The rose hung neatly at his neck, no long stilled by his touch._

_He lunged, I lunged. We fought fiercely. I was blinded by tears as I fought, love rekindling the passionate flame to melt the ice only slightly. The slight was enough for emotion to flood through, and I found myself fighting harder. _

_He fought as hard as I. The mourning- how it hurt us both. He trembled when, upon transporting behind me, he grabbed my arms. I froze, the soft touch of his cloak brushing my legs catching my off guard, even as I heard his harsh breath behind me. It took a firm kick from beast Boy to free me._

_At last he fled, leaving behind the bag of money. Standing on a building, he stared at me again, his figure silhouetted against the sky. He touched the rose once more, and disappeared._

_I am a monster, an uncontrollable force. Each time I see him I become closer to the creature. I must distance myself from him, yet in the dark of night ad sleep my nightmares make me cling to the memories of his love._

_I dream of the Titans and Red. Of my father. Of my mother._

_But mostly of Rose. Of losing to her and slowly demolishing everyone I care for._

_Across from me lays my mirror. I was going to shatter it when I got home, but I found myself unable to. It is a part of me I must learn to understand, despite how I loathe it so. If I do destroy it, what then? How would it help my inner self? Not at all._

_I'm waiting for the alarm to go off. I'll stand up and leave the room without looking in my reflection like I used too, as currently a black sheet hides the mirror from view. Like a ghost, I will drift down the halls silently, my dark hood hiding my face from all eyes. I will fight, dully but calmly, not allowing myself to feel the passion of anger anymore. I fight only to keep control._

_The glass pieces are sharp, but after the wounds I felt before, I'm a little braver. I'm not so afraid to pick up a piece and attach it to the rest, though I know finding the way it fits in will be difficult. Slowly, I am learning to heal not only my body, but my soul, and my glass heart._

_How ironic, and how appropriate, that upon the cover of this book is the image of a thorned rose._

_Nemur ki-asleh tun rikana leh._

_The thing we hate the most is what hides in our reflections. _

_Raven_


End file.
